Confession Friday

My Friday, I'm in love links will be a little late this week but I have a lot I want to share so stay posted! One of the links I was going to include is this post on female misogyny by Jamie of I Am Not the Babysitter. You may recognize Jamie as "that mom breastfeeding on the cover of Time" but she really is so much more! I started reading her blog this past January when I began researching interracial adoption and have been hooked. She's not your typical mommy blogger and I love that she's so passionate about her causes. Anyway, her post really made me think this week and I figured it deserved more than a passing mention.

My confession: I have totally been that “all of my friends are men, I just get along with them better” girl.

The last very close female friends I had were in high school. We had a falling out which I don't regret at all. They got into drinking with older boys, partying and sex much sooner than I was ready for such things. Those friendships couldn't continue after that and of course ended with nastiness, gossip and lots of hurt feelings. I went from having a large group of close female friends to being totally excommunicated. I think I was a bit scared of girls after being treated so cruelly by those I trusted.

During college and later as an adult, I made a lot of female acquaintances and even borderline friends but always had such a hard time getting relationships started. Approaching other women was terrifying. There was so much judgement and jealousy to get over in the beginning. Women have to find their ranking so to speak... Who is the most attractive? Who is the smartest? Best dressed? It can be quite the power struggle with wars raged quietly in perfectly timed comments and backhanded compliments. I quickly learned that bitchy, cliquey, competitive behavior doesn't end in high school. It was easier just to keep my distance.

So I gave up for a bit. I was tired of feeling betrayed by other women. I was afraid of being judged. But the deeper problem was that I was becoming exactly the same way. I had learned to judge and be jealous before even getting to know a woman. I started to think of them as rivals instead of compatriots and allies. And I'm totally done with it. I'm with Jamie and I'm not buying that "I get along better with men" line anymore.

I'm going to get over my fear of befriending women. I am going to squash those jealous and competitive feelings, because there is no competition. I am no longer going to be one of those women who tears other women down. I love this simile from an article by Rosjke Hasseldine:

"Without this depth of understanding about how patriarchy has got under our skin, women are in danger of being like crabs in a bucket. As soon as one tries to escape and manages to get to the top of the bucket, the others pull the escapee back down. Fear of not being liked, of being alone, of the consequences of escaping and standing up for your rights and life, are strong motivators that make women pull each other back down to where it is sad but safe and familiar." -Why are Women so Critical of Each Other?

It's so true and so sad. I don't want to be like that anymore. Female relationships are worth fighting for and getting outside of your comfort zone, as Jamie said, and I for one am going to stop being that bitchy little crab at the bottom of the bucket.

Sora No

This week I had my last classes in Japan... ever. It wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be but it was still rough. I put on my teacher face, I guess, and just got through it cheerfully. Farewells in Japan are usually kept happy with hopes of meeting again. This has honestly made the process of saying goodbye much easier, even if I know the chances of actually meeting again are slim. I will miss my students so, so much!

I also gave my farewell speech to the school. I was nervous because it was mostly in Japanese but I think it went really well and many of the students were completely shocked to hear me speak Japanese! I speak English 99% of the time at school and when I do have to lapse into Japanese I usually don't use complete sentences. I kept it short and sweet:

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the past three years. It has been very fun. To the principle, vice principle and other teachers I want to say thank you for all your help and hard work. I especially want to thank the English teachers for taking care of me.

To the students, I want to say thank you so much! It is because of you that my life here in Aizu has been so wonderful. If you ever travel to America, please visit me. I will miss you very much when I leave Japan and I will never forget you.

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Let's meet again!

And then I burst into tears. What really got me during the ceremony was Gakuho's school song. It's nothing like a fight song you might hear at an American school. It's really beautiful and moving actually. The lyrics are about the beauty of Aizu, how Gakuho is a starting place for great things and that even though the students and teachers may leave, Gakuho will always be our school. Hearing those words and seeing all the faces of my lovely students was just too much! Have a listen.

Aizu Gakuho School Song by Jennifer Wcisel

Why Not? #4

Want to know the real reason I moved to Japan? Sean said, "Let's move to Japan." I said, "Why not?" So we did.

Your why not moment doesn't need to be so epic, but why not do something today just because why not?

Why not visit a local tourist attraction? Why not buy some corny souvenirs?

Why not buy a basket full of summer produce? Eat nothing but veggies for dinner? With fruit for dessert?

Why not pack a brown bagged lunch for your SO or friend? Include a love note?

Why not host a classy game night? Settlers and sidecars? Monopoly and martinis? Risk and rob roys?

Why not sunbathe with a trashy novel? Why not read some Gossip Girl with me? 

Why not go a whole day with no TV?

Why not dust your entire home? Put on some loud dance-inspiring music? 

Why not purge your closet? Replace that junk with one fabulous piece?

Why not give yourself a crazy manicure? Pin it to Pinterest even if it's disastrous?

Why not go to a park? Swing on the swings? Go down the slide? Push someone on the tire swing?

Here's to a wonderful week!

It's Friday, I'm in Love

Happy Friday everyone! I had a pretty busy, emotional, stressful week so I'm super glad I get a three day weekend. Monday is Ocean Day! Yes, that's a real public holiday in Japan. No one seems to do anything to celebrate it but I suppose the beaches might be slightly more crowded? Oh well, happy Ocean Day weekend!

Love it! Makes me wish my parents had a video camera when I was young.

A classier version of the hemp macrame bracelets I used to make. Simple techniques make these look store bought, not DIY!

 Bahahaha.

The mystery of the mystery flavor of Dum Dums is revealed! Pretty ingenious and a great marketing strategy to boot.

50 Quotes From the Star Wars Prequels, Ranked in Order of Terribleness.

Moe's blog design tips this week! I love her example design and look forward to the upcoming ebook.

Medical researchers are creating prototype pacemakers that run on glucose created naturally in the body. It's these kind of developments that make me hopeful for the future.

25 Best Things About Being an Expat. Most of these are very true for me! Lovely list. I will miss the expat lifestyle :(


You Make Me Happy. :)

Snapshots of Wakamatsu: My Favorite Place

On the Brink of Change

To remind you for the thirtieth time, I'm moving back to the U.S. after living in Japan for three years. This has been an inevitability since February when I turned down my fourth year contract with my school. The date was vaguely set and I promptly put it out of my head. Since then I've dealt with the logistics of leaving. I have plane tickets and have started packing and getting rid of my belongings. I've been in touch with the woman who will be replacing me. I've thought about it a lot, but that hasn't prevented a little bit of desperation to set in.

I know I'm on the brink of a major change in my life and I'm really not sure how to deal with it. I've noticed myself becoming a bit withdrawn. I've been taking care of the logistics, but I haven't been taking care of the emotional side. I'm avoiding things that I know will be hard. I need to write a farewell speech to my students. I should be spending more time with my friends. I shouldn't be sitting here at my desk right now, I should be out chatting with the students and teachers. I was barely able to go the Leavers' party last weekend in Fukushima and once there it took a concerted effort to enjoy myself. I want to do these things I just feel that tightness in my throat every time I even think about them. I'm just waiting for the tiniest thing to set me off crying.

I know I can't distance myself from the very things that are making this process so hard! Does that even make sense? I love it all so much. How can I say goodbye to an entire country? 

How do I say goodbye to an entire chapter of my life?

And HOW do I say goodbye to the loveliest public restrooms in the world?

Back story: This restroom was at a 7-11. Off the expressway. It had incense, seat covers, antibacterial spray, two air fresheners and wicker baskets of feminine products. There were floral decals on the walls. It was spotless. I would have eaten lunch and taken a nap on this toilet.

Another Year

Another year older, the title might read. I celebrated my 26th birthday on July 3rd! Sorry the posts this past week have been slow in coming. My to-do list gets longer by the minute no matter how much I try to accomplish. But high on that to-do list was enjoying my birthday and I absolutely did.

My friend Kris put together an amazing dinner at a local yaki-niku restaurant with thirteen of my friends. I love yaki-niku because well, it's grilled meat, but also because it so fun to grill your own food right at the table. What makes this restaurant even more fun is that they offer tabehoudai, or an all-you-can-eat course. We ordered so many steaks they literally ran out! {Though there is a conspiracy theory that we were ordering too many of the expensive cuts and they had to tell us that to actually make a profit.} I also received the most lovely and thoughtful gifts. I seriously struggled not to cry on my meat! This birthday is extra special I guess since it will be my last one in Japan and one of the last chances I'll get to spend time with these awesome people.

As for those amazing presents, my favorite was the akabeko everyone wrote birthday and farewell messages on for me. It will be such a wonderful keepsake! I also received this amazing artisan akabeko carrying rice barrels. I should write more about them sometime, they are a point of some pride for the Aizu area {where I live}. I got plenty of sweets too including these fruit jellies, a little mousse cake, butter cakes and macarons. I even got a couple bags of frozen raspberries inspired by my previous lament! {Thanks Alan!}

 Last, but certainly not least nor the quietest present, was a Tamagotchi Nano! I love Tamagotchis and have had one off and on ever since they came out. I've even been bringing it to school cause, hey, I'm the teacher now and I can do that!

It's SO happy!

My Morning Routine

1. Alarm goes off at 7:10am. Turn off alarm and reset to 7:20am.

2. Alarm goes off again at 7:20am. Ask myself a series of questions to determine if I really have to get up. {Do I need a shower? Do I have class first period?} If no, go back to sleep.

3. If yes, crankily get up. Brush teeth. Pee. {How late are you? Very: pee and brush teeth at same time}

4. Shower. Shave armpits. Legs only shaven in the direst of circumstances.

5. Move fan into weird kitchen/vanity area because it so freaking hot.

6. Deodorant. Face lotion. Hair mousse. Makeup. {How fancy are you feeling? Very: add mascara}

7. Put on some clothes finally, but not too many because its freaking hot and you still have to blow dry your hair. Underwear, pants and tank top are okay.

8. Blow dry hair. Turn on straightener.

9. Pack up laptop, lunch and any other nonsense into backpack.

10. Straighten hair. Hairspray profusely because its so freaking humid. {How humid is it? Very: put hair in bun, ponytail or clip up}

11. Put on wedding band/engagement rings. {How fancy are you feeling? Very: add necklace or watch}

12. Move fan back into the bedroom because husband is still sleeping and its freaking hot.

13. Put on a shirt.

14. Put on backpack, find bike keys, slip on shoes and you're outta there!

{Yeah, I don't eat breakfast. Oops.}

{And this was just a joke. I'm sure you look at least this good.}